Ever hear the saying hate is a strong word? Such a true statement but I think the statement originated from the feeling itself. Hate is such a strong feeling which, in turn, makes the word strong. It is in our human nature that we have a tendency to hate or dislike things and people. We are all guilty of hate. Maybe it’s a foe or competitor that you can never seem to shake. Maybe it’s an ex or person that you can’t stand. Maybe it’s a brand of something that is endorsed by someone you dislike. We all have one. This tendency is the exact opposite of the liking/loving tendency (learn about the liking/loving tendency here). The concept is that the dislike and hate overpower anything good that could come from the situation. You make prejudgements that make up your mind. This is a very negative way to think and act. Open you mind up to trying new things you may hate or to hearing someone out that you dislike. I always think of squidward when I think of this tendency. Squidward is someone that hates everyone. More times than not it is for no reason… just seems to be a negative guy.
A perfect example, of this tendency, is with President Trump. Pretty much half the US population hates Trump. I would say that half of those people actually know why they hate him and the rest hate him by association. Now don’t get me wrong, he has said and done things that are wrong and I don’t agree with but people judge him for the tiniest things, all the way to his hair. People distort all the positives of him to justify the hate. Personally, I try to see the positives. I admire his successes. He started his own company and turned it into a billion dollar company. Not only that but he achieved the American dream. He proved that you can become president without being a shady politician! Challenge yourself to try and come up with a few positives about someone that you hate or dislike. It is easier said than done but it gives you a different perspective. Don’t allow hate to dictate opportunities or your views.
One of my favorite stories, about my girlfriend, was when she unknowingly ate mushrooms. She was dead set on how she hated them. Would never try them because one day early in her life she tried them and didn’t like them. One day, we were at a wedding rehearsal dinner and she had a couple cocktails. One of the appetizers were fried chicken nuggets and another was fried mushrooms. She ended up popping a couple of the fried mushrooms, in her mouth, and loved them. Probably had about 5-6 of them. After I realized what she was eating, I asked brought up the fact that she hated mushrooms. She went on about how she did and it was after then that I broke the news to her. I laughed so hard at this because it was just the fear of the food itself. It just goes to show you that your mind is made up on something that you could really enjoy.
The same thing could be said for me with Justin Bieber. I used to hate him and his music for no apparent reason. Maybe jealousy or group think? Not sure where it originated from. After I heard a few of his songs, I realized that dude has some bangers! If you are the same way look up some of his songs. You will be surprised how something works out after you try it.
Here are a couple tools to avoid this tendency:
- Look for positives from things, people, or product you hate or dislike. Even one is better than none!
- Try new things. Just because you hated something a while back doesn’t mean you will still hate it now. Trying new things is fun and exciting.
- Don’t judge too quickly. If you meet someone and dislike them try to get to know them more. Maybe they are rough on the surface but a joy once you get to know them more.
- Form your own opinions. Don’t hate something just because someone else hates it.
- Don’t just try something if you are going to not commit to being open minded. For real, if you are just going to shoot it down the second you try it what’s the point. Be 100% open minded and positive about it. Who knows maybe you will still dislike what ever it is or end up loving it.
- Don’t gossip. Seems like humans love to gossip and a lot of times gossip takes a negative turn. I feel like this is where we will pick someone apart like hungry dogs for no reason. Take yourself out of the gossip or gossip about positive things. This is the hardest task if the person you’re gossiping with is constantly negative!
- Don’t be a squidward!
Being aware of this tendency is enough to try and not fall in that mindset. Follow these simple tips to help yourself get out of the negativity. There are the right times and places for disliking and hatred. But more times than not we turn on things and people that don’t really deserve it. A stronger mind will make you a stronger person. I would say it’s safe to say that if you don’t remember why you don’t like someone or something that it is time to give it another try.
Have you ever fallen victim to this tendency for silly reasons? If so, what was it? What do you think of the 7 steps?