Successful people are able to let go of the past. They move on quickly because they know the longer they get held up with drama the more likely their success is to get put on hold. This ability to move on allows them to focus on things that actually matter. They are able to focus on the future instead of the past. Success can only happen when you are moving forward. Moving backward will kill all hopes for productivity and positivity.
It’s important to remember that we cannot change the past. We can only adapt to ensure we learn from mistakes and grow. In the past few years, I learned how important moving on was. I have faced a large amount of drama with family and friends. There would be fights back and forth and it would foster negativity. I realized that focusing on all this drama made me constantly stressed out and anxious about the future. To combat this I learned to let go. I moved on. This was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made. I knew that the drama and negativity was going to persist and increase. I couldn’t allow this to stop me from becoming successful so I moved on. I learned to do this with those friends that held me back as well. You know the childhood friends that hold you back and never support you? Check out my post on how this common occurrence can be happening to you. Cut ties. You will be fine. There are so many awesome people in this world you just have to go find them!
Overall, successful people know that if they do not change they will go around in circles. They know there needs to be some sort of change. I did it for the sole purpose that I didn’t want so much negativity around me. I did not want to feel that way. There could be a million reasons that would cause you to want to move on like the past, a job, a relationship, a memory, a failure, etc. Do it sooner rather than later. Most of the time we wait till our breaking point till we make the jump. Get yourself to move on before it gets to that. The greats can realize when they need to move and and then pull the trigger. No sense in trying to change something that will most likely never happen. It’s not giving up. To me it’s moving on and working towards bettering your situation. If your success and future is in jeopardy then you owe it to yourself to prevent that from happening.
What to Look Out For
Typically, you will be able to sense when you need to move on. Maybe you have fought for a change for some time and you can tell that it’s not getting you anywhere. It might be a negative feeling that you keep experiencing that you hate. Whatever the cause may be you know that moving on will be difficult but necessary. Here are a few things that I look out for in these scenarios:
- Feeling constantly anxious or stressed out. I say constantly because it would be naive to think that you will never experience these emotions.
- Someone or something constantly putting you in a negative mood or mental state. No one likes that person that is always negative. If you don’t think you are negative try asking for feedback from those around you. You may be more negative than you think!
- Failure. You need to move on from your past failures. Take them as learning moments to make you stronger. Get back on that horse!
- Where ever you feel yourself spinning your tires. If you are getting nowhere with someone or something then it might be time to move on. You can’t be the only one putting in effort.
- Look out for those people that constantly put you down. Treat them like the plague and avoid at all costs. They aren’t your friend if they put you down like that. You can get tons of new friends and loved ones that support you more.
- Yourself making excuses to justify all the bullshit. This one is huge. So many times we trick our minds into thinking we are stuck. We use excuses like kids, money, time, etc. Take accountability. You are the reason not anyone or anything else. Tough pill to swallow but one that’s needed a lot of the time.
- Lack of improvement. Sometimes you might not be improving at all and a change may need to happen. Practice throwing yourself out of your comfort zone by changing up your routine. Go meet new people. Go apply new places. Do something if you want a change.
What to Do Once You Realize the Problem
The first step is to realize who or what the problem is. Identify the problem so you can work to improve your situation. There are many different ways to attack the problem. The main key here is to do something to get the change you are looking for. Doing nothing and expecting different results is considered insane. Here are a couple of strategies that I found to be successful:
- Understand what you want to change. Sometimes it just takes some minor tweaks to get to where you want to be. Maybe it’s a schedule change at your job? Maybe it’s about your partner doing dishes once in a while? You won’t be happy until you find out what needs to change.
- Communicate. You need to put on your big boy/girl pants and communicate to what needs to change to whoever is involved. If you do that and there is no change you will do your part in the relationship.
- Adapt and increase accountability. Make the change and hold who or what accountable. If you are not consistent then that is your fault. Give people an inch and they will take a mile. You have to give that inch first for that to happen. The blame isn’t them taking the mile it’s you giving the inch to begin with.
- Quit bringing up the past. So many people try to improve but then we tend to bring up the past mistakes or failures. Bringing up the past will put you or them in the same place you were at. You have to let go. Successful people move on from the past.
- Cut ties or bad habits. This one is the toughest but sometimes it’s very necessary. Sometimes it’s not meant to be. Cut ties and move on you will find a new job, partner, lover, friend, cause, habit, business, etc.
- Don’t look back. Stop second guessing your decisions. Once you make it be 100% invested in the future and your new decisions. If you cannot move on you are inhibiting future success.
- Let go of your fears. Your fears can do so much as to immobilize you from ever moving on. Never let your fears dictate your future successes.
All of these different strategies can help you move on. Stop hanging on to things that are preventing you from succeeding. The only person it is hurting is yourself. You owe it to yourself to not let that happen. Making that first jump will increase your confidence to realize that you are strong enough to handle the change. Have faith in yourself and you will go places. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are many people out there that are willing to help. It’s like asking for the sale. Most of the time you will not get the sale unless you ask for it. Same rule applies to getting help. Just ask for it!
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Go now and move on. You owe it to yourself!